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Okay, here we go! Let's see if we can give you a little nudge to get thyself to Mass! I hate to say this, but this excuse is a pretty weak one. Most parishes have Saturday evening and several Sunday morning Masses. Some even have Sunday evening Masses. Mass times are readily available. If weekends absolutely do not work for you, plan to go to a weekday Mass. After all, the purpose of a Sabbath is to give you time to rest, relax, rejuvenate, spend time with your family, and give thanks to the Creator for His creation. Give it a try, schedule it on your calendar. It will make a world of difference in you life. There is no Church close to me For those of us who grew up with a Catholic Church on every block, the thought of being too far away from a Church was practically unimaginable. However, now that we live in the rural Intermountain West, we realize just how much of a problem this can be. There are people who have to drive an hour or more to get to Mass. Some people are members of mission churches and only have a priest on a weekday, once a month, or even once every few months. The temptation to ignore the need for Mass may be especially great. However, Mass is our unity, our community, our strength. We need the support and guidance Mass gives us. Consider whether it's the Church that is really too far away, or your spiritual life that has gotten too far away. If the latter is true, now is the time to make the extra effort to do whatever is necessary to return to the community. If you truly live so far from any Church that the distance is formidable, do what you can. Go to Mass when the opportunity presents itself. It would probably also be wise to evaluate why you live where you do. Is it absolutely necessary? Is there any chance for future plans to include a move closer to a community with a Catholic Church? If transportation is the problem, call the nearest parish office. They may be able to refer you to another parishioner who lives close enough to you and would be glad to car pool with you or even chauffeur you. If you are homebound and just cannot get to Mass, at least call the parish office and ask for a priest or a lay minister to visit you and bring you the Eucharist. You will receive the Precious Body and/or Precious Blood that was consecrated at a recent Mass, so the minister will be bringing the support of the community to you. If you don't understand what is going on, Mass may just seem like an hour of the same, old thing, week after week. However, try learning about the parts of the Mass, the multi-sensory symbols throughout the liturgy, the meaning of the scripture readings, to name just a few. The more you learn about the liturgy, the more you will appreciate the amazing and miraculous miracle that takes place at every single Mass. Until you get to that point, at least enjoy the quiet time and meditation! I don't like the priest/staff/other parishioners We are a community, and we all have our faults. Sometimes the greatest challenge is to see the face of God in every person, especially the annoying ones! Consider the fruits of the Holy Spirit (remember those, the perfections that the Holy Spirit produces in us?). The fruits include patience, temperance, charity, modesty, self-control, etc. Accept those gifts into your heart. Realize that ultimately it is your own choice to be annoyed or to be charitable, angry or patient, resentful or kind. The primary doctrine of the Church is love; where should that lead you? The bishop/priest/staff/other parishioners are hypocrites Remember the Groucho Marx line: "I wouldn't belong to a club that would have me as a member"? Well, the Catholic Church is not like that. Our universal Church welcomes all kinds of people, even hypocrites. Of course we can try to help them, guide them, counsel them. Ultimately, though, we need to accept them, despite their faults, as children of God. We hope they also accept us, with all our faults, as well. The bishop/priest/staff/other parishioners ignored me Most people tend to feel uncomfortable in new or stressful situations. When you were ignored, what was happening to the other person? Were you a stranger, or did you encounter them at a bad time? They may have been just as uncomfortable as you were. The best thing for you to do is call or go to the parish office. Introduce yourself. Remember to be patient if the person you talk to is preoccupied - it's still an office, after all. Ask where you could be of service, there are usually lots of choices. Once you start helping out, you'll be amazed how many friends you discover and how many people start calling! The bishop/priest/staff/other parishioners did not make me feel welcome Some of us may not feel welcome because no one went out of his/her way to welcome us. Others because we have actually had a disagreement with someone from the parish and feel uncomfortable seeing that person again. Maybe we move to a new parish and it's just not like the one we left. There may be many reasons for not feeling welcome. Whatever the reason, please realize that very few people actually go out of their way to make you feel unwelcome. We are all busy, we all, probably far too often, put our own interests first. Be patient, be forgiving, and make sure you are welcoming. Smile and nod at other parishioners. If there has been a disagreement, acknowledge your concern that things got out of hand, and even take the first step by apologizing if it will help. New parishioners can volunteer for ministries and help others. The Knights of Columbus and Council of Catholic Women are international Catholic organizations, for example. Most importantly, figure out how you can make a difference and improve the situation - then DO IT! The entire community will benefit. Other than for Gregorian chants, Catholics have not been known for being on the cutting edge of popular music. If you want to hear wonderful music, take advantage of your home stereo. You're sure to get what you like. Mass music seems to range from the powerfully spiritual to the pleasant to the just plain painful. Here is your chance to be generous. Refraining from mocking, grunting and rolling your eyes is sure to get you some heaven bonus points. Okay, enough of that, let's start getting serious here. Why do you go to Mass? For popular entertainment, being rowdy with your friends, or to get spiritual direction? Hopefully your answer is spiritual direction. Start paying closer attention to the message of the music. Many lyrics are directly from the Bible. The responsorial psalms are ancient hymns that Old Testament Jews wrote to praise God, celebrate their greatest triumphs, and mourn their greatest losses. The "Gloria" and the "Holy, Holy, Holy" are some of the earliest Christian hymns which give thanks to and praise God. Even the worst song leader cannot diminish the power of these prayers. Paying attention to the message of the liturgical music can make the experience fulfilling. If music is important to you and you have some skills, donate your time and talent. Catholic parishes usually cannot afford to hire professional musicians, and people with those talents are relatively rare. Adding your talents to the line-up will benefit the entire community. If you are lucky enough to live in a parish with musically talented parishioners, count your blessings. Otherwise, sing really loudly to drown the others out. News of abuses within the Church caused many people to feel frustration, anger, resentment. The breach of trust by a few damaged the welfare of so many. The question is, what do you do about it? This may sound trite, but allowing those few to keep you angry or separated from the majority of the faithful is allowing the bad guys to win. When you think about it, isn't that the point of evil - to keep us alone and weak, instead of united and strong? Please consider returning to Mass. As awful as any scandal can be, the result is always a strengthened and more faithful community. We renew our faith and our direction toward God. We stop ignoring those things we'd rather not think about, and actively fix the problems. Our Church has been doing just that and is, quite frankly, better than ever. In our world everything is immediately on the news, picked apart from every aspect, and proved or disproved by science. Everything except faith. Faith is unlikely, in our lifetimes, to be proved by the scientific method. You can read, you can reason, you can discuss 'til you're blue in the face. Those things may help, but they will never give you true faith. Faith is a gift from God that you have the choice to accept or reject. If you just sit around wondering and never make that choice, you're unlikely to know true joy and freedom. Pick a day (today is good) and pray. Tell God you're going to start believing in everything He said. Then act on that promise. Pray a Hail Mary, receive the Eucharist, put your faith into those things that are beyond reason. You are going to be pleasantly surprised. Our Lord will start to work in your life in ways you never imagined. Before you know it, the unbelievable will be perfectly reasonable. Faith is not science, but it is a choice. Make that choice today. After all, when you take a leap of faith, God is there to catch you. "Faith is man's response to God, who reveals Himself and gives Himself to man, at the same time bringing a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life." (Catechism of the Catholic Church #26) My spouse/kids won't go to Mass with me Every person has a reason for not going to Mass. Look at your situation. If your children are under the age of 10 years, just tell them matter-of-factly (don't scream or yell) it is what your family does one hour each week. They'll get the idea. Consider other questions: Have you failed to regularly attend Mass together?
If your spouse does not go to Mass, why not?
If you have always attended Mass together, but at least one family member no longer wants to join in, what has changed?
Once you figure out what has changed, deal with it. The worst thing you can do is stop going to Mass altogether. That sends the completely wrong message to your family, and leaves your spiritual life empty. That void can be devastating. So encourage, don't force, your family to go to Mass together. If they protest, be understanding and request their presence. After all, an hour with God and the community is very unlikely to hurt anyone. Over time, it will probably be the best help. Single parents have a challenge. They have to get themselves and their kids to Mass without the support of a spouse. This can often seem like a hurdle too high to jump. Be assured, all the challenges you are overcoming now are going to pay off more than you could ever imagine in the future. Your struggles now are definitely worth you kids' spiritual future.
Certainly, there are times when one may feel closer to God alone in His creation than anywhere else on earth. There we may get a glimpse of perfection, divinity. Unfortunately, this is a one-sided view. Every person is made in God's image. When we are part of a community and see how much good is within every person (admittedly, sometimes the good seems way, way within), we learn more about God. When we can accept others and come to love others in spite of their faults, we become closer to God. When we accept the gifts God gives to us, and give back to our community with faith, hope, and charity, we are spreading God's message. We cannot reach our full potential until we recognize God in everything and everyone around us. It is certainly much easier to seek God when we have control over the situation. It takes much more effort to open ourselves up to the opinion of others, and attempt to open our hearts to those who may seem difficult to love. It is also scary to leave ourselves vulnerable to the opinions of others. After all, they have to learn to love us for our faults, too. After striving toward this understanding of all our world, we will have been enriched beyond our wildest dreams. The only limits we have in knowing God are the ones we set ourselves. Getting beyond those narrow limits is true freedom. Sunday is the only day I get to sleep in Check out your Mass times. Most parishes have either Saturday evening, Sunday evening, or both evening Masses scheduled. A little planning on your part will allow you to both get to Mass and sleep in as long as you want. First, check out Mass times. Most parishes have enough choices that you can attend Mass before or after your working hours. If your working schedule absolutely does not permit you to get to Mass on the weekend, try to go to Mass during the week. The focus of the scripture readings and theme of the Mass will be different, but the benefit to your spiritual life will still be worthwhile. If even daily Mass does not work with your schedule, it is time to stop and re-think your priorities. What do you really need in life, and how can you adjust your schedule sometime in the future to arrange it. We all have choices to make. Sometimes we have to do without extras. Sometimes we have to choose to swallow our pride and ask for help. What can you do to put God first? If you do, He will take care of you, as long as you have faith in Him. My kids misbehave and it gets too embarrassing/exhausting/unrewarding Every parent has felt this way - tired, frustrated, spiritually empty. It seems like it would be so much easier to just give up and stay home. After all, the kids are not getting anything out of Mass, and you are so distracted there is no spiritual fulfillment. And there are probably even people who turn around and give you nasty looks. Please take heart from a veteran, it's all worth it. We had a decade of nursing infants, wiggling and screaming toddlers, and limp, complaining children. When our youngest turned five, though, everything changed. Now going to Mass is a family habit; it's just something we always do together. The kids love being altar servers, they look forward to seeing their friends of all ages, and every Sunday after Mass we go to the store and get doughnuts. What could be better than that? Plus, since the kids have gotten older the spiritual lives of each and every one us has grown by leaps and bounds. The persistence through all the struggles of having a young family at Mass has paid off more than we could have ever wished. It will do the same for you. My favorite sporting events are scheduled at the same time I keep harping on this choice - check out your local Mass times. Most parishes recognize the need for scheduling convenience. If you know when the sporting event occurs, go to Mass at a different time. However, if there are always sporting events that interfere with Mass, there is another issue involved here. Is attending Mass really a top priority for you? If not, why not? Sitting back and giving an honest answer to this question may lead you to a challenging place, but it is a challenge well worth the effort. Turn off the TV, set up a recorder (or not!), and get thyself to Mass. You'll be fulfilled when you do. I'm usually too tired/hung over Why are you too tired or hung over? These are symptoms of a problem somewhere in your life. Are you working too hard and in need of rest and rejuvenation? Are you feeling empty, alone? Are there other problems you may be aware of, but not quite understand? Going to Mass is an excellent way to get back on the right track. There are many faithful, understanding people who are part of your community and who will support you at this time. If you do not feel comfortable going to Mass right away, call the parish office and request a visit from your priest. A spiritual discussion, maybe even the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Anointing of the Sick is just what you need. It is up to you to take the first step, but after that you will have plenty of supporters. My spouse/kids are out of town So who will know if you skip out, right? You'll know. God will know. Living a Catholic life involves making a commitment - to your family, yourself, God. You need to live up to that commitment. Besides, it's not going to hurt you; it may even help. Plus, you'll avoid that awkward situation of your friends mentioning your absence at the wrong time! I could just say "See above comments." But I'll add one more thing. You are an adult, and you have made adult commitments. You're not in high school where skipping out is part of the fun. Your relationship with God is supremely important, and it is your true source of overwhelming joy. Treat it as such. Oh, yes. Make sure you prepare for your trip and check local Mass times. Okay, you're out of town, perhaps on vacation. Is going to Mass really more trouble than it's worth? Probably not. With just a little pre-planning, you can figure out the location and of a nearby Catholic church. If you're more of the spur-of-the-moment type, find a phone book when you get to your destination. Churches are listed in the yellow pages, with phone numbers and addresses included. What if you're vacationing where there are no Masses? Take a few minutes, or lots of minutes if necessary, and decide the purpose of the time out of town. We always have to set priorities and make choices. When you get right down to it, is skipping Mass the message you want to send to your family? Is there any way possible, with a little extra thought and effort, to make it to Mass after all? If not, can the out of town plans be changed? It may just be that now is the time to take a stand and get your family to Mass. The effort will reap benefits beyond your imagination in the end! It's just one more day to make everyone presentable Life can seem overwhelming at times. It's enough of a challenge to get everyone dressed and out the door to school and work. Why make the effort to do the same on the weekend? Because it is worth all the time and effort in the long run, for yourself and for your family. Going to Mass provides a time of learning and companionship. You'll see other families who find getting to Mass difficult, yet they make that effort, just like you. You'll see people who are so full of faith they will inspire you to keep trying. You may even see some people who annoy you. Remember, they are at Mass because they recognize they are sinners and need all the grace God can give them. Even if your kids are not perfect during Mass, keep making the effort. There will often be challenges, but God will give you the grace to overcome. There is no challenge too formidable for the grace of God, and that grace is His freely given gift to help you succeed. I feel obligated to give money that I don't have Everyone is always asking you for money. The Catholic Church is no different; it is an organization that depends on the charity of its parishioners. There is one major difference between Catholics and many people from other religious groups. We are not required to tithe. We always have the choice of what to give. The Catholic Church trusts, with the occasional reminder, that members will thoughtfully give what they can, when they can. When you really think about it, the Church does amazingly well considering
what most of us choose to donate. The money you give pays parish expenses,
sometimes school expenses, diocesan expenses, even Vatican expenses. In
addition, it helps provide food for the hungry, clothes for the needy, supplies
for the victims of hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.
We support missions, retired priests and religious men and women, and
seminarians. You name it, if there is good to be done, the Catholic Church is
there to do it. Each and every one of us is part of that good. Any little
bit you can contribute is added to the gifts of the community. Together, we
change the world. It's about commitment It's about trials It's about community We are all made in God's image Actions speak louder than words
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